Archive | June 2013

Canada Day and the Long Weekend

We’re all parents who read this blog? At least I’m sure of it. So what is the true thing to do with your children and your family on the long weekend? The thing to do on Canada Day? Well, guess what? You’re guess is as good as mine.

I’m not a party or event planer so when it comes to my kid, I like to fly by the seat of my pants. But yes, on special occasions like the holiday long weekends I and we, my wife daughter and I like to do something fun. Go out, go to the zoo, or in the case of this year have a little pool party with old friends and their children. Drink Gluten-free beer, cook burgers, swing on the swing, chase each other around like idiots and just have a good time soaking in both sunshine and friendship.

So, for  this holiday Monday, take two things with you, if you can, away from my blog today;

1) BE SAFE. Wether you are drinking gluten-free beer or swimming in the pool with little ones. Take precautions. Always have a designated driver and a designated diver.

2) Have fun.

That’s it. As long as you follow my simple rules for a great holiday weekend you’ll be fit as a fiddle. Or buck wild as a bronco. Whatever you do, spend the time with the people you love.

Or at least like.


Do You Like Maple Syrup?

I could go on forever about the coolness of maple syrup, and not just because I’m Canadian, but because it’s awesome. It’s gluten-free too, so that’s just a bonus for a bro like me. Click the picture to see a video I made a few years ago where I just went bat-shit crazy and ate a fuck ton of maple syrup.


Gluten-Free Baby Food

You have a baby? My kid is two and a half years old so she don’t eat baby food anymore, this video is a few years old when I attempted to start an internet show that failed. But it was all along the same lines of being gluten-free. So click the picture below to go straight to the video and watch away Merle, watch away.


Celiac Woes: The Chicken Sandwich

I’m not going to bother to look up as to why Kentucky Fried Chicken isn’t called that anymore. Now it just goes by KFC. Some say it’s because they don’t use what can be technically considered a chicken, it’s some kind of mutant hybrid with seven wings, four breasts and no head. Something from your nightmares. I really think it’s just because KFC sounds more hip, and just easier to say. KFC

But what do i miss about it? It’s chicken covered in wheat. Extra crispy? yes please. All of it, and I can even tell you the last time I ate it. Well, not the chicken, but the fries. It was also the day I had a drink of beer, Creemore Springs, a year after my bachelor party. The night that will live in infamy. The day/night that was filled with some terrible choices. All including alcohol. It was a two day hangover. You see, I stopped eating KFC chicken before 2005 because I was all against factory farming or whatever, but it’s a way of life. A way for food to get to your table. Against it or not, I mis KFC.

The night I graduated high school, it was 1998, and I was given some money. What was the first thing I did? We went from the graduation, cap and gown and all to the local KFC and I ordered a chicken sandwich, the one with lettuce and mayo. I don’t even remember what it’s called. I assume it’s just called the Chicken Sandwich. Then, me and my buddies hit the arcade. ARCADE! You heard me right. Of course that was 1998 and they were, well one was still around and arcades were going the way of the dinosaur. Like Blockbuster more than a decade later.

Now KFC has the balls to invent AND rub in my face the Double Down? Is that what’s it’s called? Sounds right to me. I’m to lazy to look it up, but two chicken slabs covered in a crispy casing that could probably kill me because I have Celiac and I’m gluten-free. I want to say damn you Celiac for this, but not isn’t harsh enough. The words I want to say, about how Celiac made me miss the Double Down can’t and shouldn’t be said on the internet, even though the internet is where you can say anything.


The Colonel needs to get his crap together and jump in on this whole gluten-free thing that everyone is latching to. Seriously dude, hook me up, let me love this new sandwich. All I want is that sweet sweet crunch to tear my gums as I take my first bite. I will sing the praises of your food, no matter what people think of it. Gross or otherwise.

Though I’m gluten-free I’m not the healthiest of eater, even before Celiac I wasn’t the greatest when it came to the good foods. Take out is and always will be my favourite. I know I stopped eating KFC long before I was diagnosed I still miss it. And I want it. Now.

Fuckin’ Celiac Disease.

How To Spoil Your Children

I have a problem with a lot of things like that. Spoiling my little two and a half year old girl. It mostly comes down to toys, but I really can’t help myself. I’m not the richest of dudes. My family isn’t rolling in the cash, but personally no matter how deep in the hole I am or how I may seem, I find that extra money to blow on treats and things for my little girl. While some might say she doesn’t get it, buying her the Disney Princess pillow is a frivolous buy and she won’t use it (which did ultimately become the case) she doesn’t get it. She is Two and just likes things in general, not matter what it is. Like a child playing with the wrapping paper on Christmas morning as opposed to the actual present.

While all of that may be true, it makes me happy. I like giving my daughter toys and making her smile. As she gets older she uses her manners and says thank you when she gets it. There was even recently a time when she said to me ‘Please can I take this home’ at the store, and it was so cute I couldn’t possibly deny her. And she loved it, and she played with it, and I’m pleased to say she STILL plays with it. So does me buying her all these things mean I am spoiling her? It’s possible.


As I go about buying my daughter the Thomas the Tank Engine toys I find that we (as in my daughter and I) are amassing a collection, and then as much as it is about playing with the toys and having amazing adventures with the little magnets, I’m a sucker for collections. And now, it’s become a thing for me to complete the collection. And as I just bought her the most recent train toy, Stafford, I actually saved the card from the blister pack and started to cross off the toys we have, and leaving the ones we need. Yes it is for my daughter, but now, it’s a little for me. 🙂

One thing I want to make sure when she is older, something she will learn as she gets older is that material possessions don’t make who she is, and that helping others and giving back is essential. they say only children are spoiled, mine currently is being spoiled. But as parents, my wife and I have level heads and we can steer our little girl to the non-spoiled bratty kid that you might usually associate with an only child.

I guess thats a stereotype.

But man, you should see the crap this little girl accumulates. Not just from what i buy her, but all the other family members. Jeez. My wife said that our daughter has the most toys she’s ever seen. Epidemic? I dunno.

Medieval Times is so Gluten-Free

So you go out to a restaurant and you’re all like ‘I dunno if they have a gluten-free option’ or you might have to succumb to a steak or just a garden salad with balsamic vinaigrette. Yeah right, because that’s what we all want to do when we go out for dinner.

Here is a nice change from eating at home; boring food. Take the time to find a place that can serve alternate meal options. You can make a salad at home.

As King Gluten Free it is my duty to tell you about a remarkable place I went out for dinner with my wife for our wedding anniversary/adult night out, and I know you have al heard about it, so you need to sit back, relax and enjoy as I tell you about the time I went to Medieval Times.


I’ve been before. Early 2000’s. I went once with my bros. from high school and we laughed it up, screamed an hollered and enjoyed a great night out with buds. It was a great time, and really, aside from the novelty picture I got, the crown and remembering it was horses and knights, it was good. But that’s about all I remember. Now flash forward to 2013, the most recent date. The time I went to Medieval Times in Toronto, Ontario. And yes, as you are aware, it’s awesome.

It’s mega awesome.

I get that it might not be a conventional girl thing, but dudes, yeah.

I don’t care what your deal is. Gay, straight, black, white, inanimate yellow lego man. If you’re a dude, you will love this shit. Horses and guys with swords. Bravado to harden any cock. Crashing music to give you the tingly feeling in your spine. FUCK YEAH!

photo-1Oh, I’m getting to my original point. Gluten-Free. Yes they have an option for people like me, a Gluten-Free option, Even a vegetarian option for those who really just want to go enjoy the show, and not the added bonus of the delicious food. Half a chicken, ribs, baked potato, and you even get the manly option of a sorbet in a cup for dessert. That’s catering to a special diet, and that’s the kind I like. Medieval Times did it up right for my kind (people with Celiac) and with the show they topped my expectations of a great night out with my wife.

While the night was filled with many different fun times and moments, one of my favourites was that I was seated next to a vegetarian. I was able to see the menu and get a first hand look at the food. Okay, it looked good, but I would rather pound back an extra rib than pita bread and dip. And what I found funny was that with the gluten-free menu, I had the option to get an extra baked potato or an extra rib, and of course I’m going to dine on swine. An extra piece of juicy meat right beside the vegetarian. That makes for a great story.

Our wench was great. Cute as a button. Fun, enjoyable and deserved the tip we gave her. Not one bad mood or attitude was in this place. I fully recommend to get your ass to a Medieval Times, whichever one is closest to you. There’s about 9 of them. I dunno, something like that.

Two thumbs up Medieval Times Toronto, you make this Celiac infused bastard giddy with Gluten-Free delight. 🙂

Are These Doritos Gluten-Free?

And that’s a question you can ask me any time, because I will now and forever be the authority on Doritios. And it’s great that this weeks video coincides with last Friday’s Celiac Woes. It’s like I planned the whole thing.

But seriously, if you’re curious about the time I bought Doritos and ate them without finding out if they were gluten-free or not, this weeks video would be the one you want to see. Just click on my beautiful face in the great screen shot of that said video. Enjoy.


%d bloggers like this: