I started out with a gluten-free food review and then earlier I had a little twitter talk with Atherton Baking Company and Celiac and the Beast about cereal, and we were going on an on about food that we missed and how much that sucks. It was fun, nostalgic to say the most about it. Awesome cereals that we can no longer have, and wicked cool cereals that cannot be matched in flavour in the gluten-free world. I’ve talked about cereals I miss before HERE, but when you lump it all together, I just miss cereal.
Yeah yeah yeah GF cereal can have a better taste sometime. I dare any non gluten-free cereal company to make a bad ass maple flavoured brand. Good luck. I’ve only ever had good maple GF cereal. It’s a fact. Not one regular cereal company can make a good maple product. True to my word, I’d like to see one of the Rice Krispie elves be named Maple and… holy cow, maple flavoured Rice Krispies!!!! Get me the marketing guy for that company. STAT! To bad the gluten-free version of Rice Krispies doesn’t live up to the regular brand.
I’m not the guy that tells you what to eat. I am far from that guy. I eat what I want and never push my own restrictions on others. So, when I tell you I miss eating handfuls of Sugar Crisp you know I won’t tell you that eating marshmallow cereal is wrong. Eat what you want, GF or not. I don’t care.
I never thought about it until today, but I miss Shreddies. There was something about the plain taste that was adorable. Yes, I did put sugar on it, but there were times when I didn’t. That still doesn’t change the fact that it’s a good cereal to eat. Fuck, I ate Shredded Wheat. Brown sugar and milk. Now that’s the tits right there. Sure all those cereals were modified to be what I will now call ‘sugar-healthy’ and mixed with a dash of preservative, but I don’t care. I didn’t care then. You know how I feel about GMO’s. I don’t care now. I just want to eat food I like. Nothing wrong with that (bat always 100% gluten-free).
Yes. Gluten-free cereal tastes good. Yes, non gluten-free cereal tastes good. Then again, it’s all a matter of perspective.
Hey, you know whats a real Celiac Woe? Where are all the gluten-free cereal mascots? Someone has to get in on that. I don’t want to die knowing that the one thing haunting my afterlife and the rest of the gluten-free community as a whole is that damned koala from Nature’s Path staring at me with it’s dead, black and beady eyes. All the whole, Tony the Tiger is sitting high up on that pedestal, pissing down on the GF mascots.
We need a gluten-free giant robot mech for a cereal mascot. Plain and simple. Not that damned koala.
Look at this guy. This is the stuff of real nightmares. Looks like a witch doctor doing a satanic dance to capture your aura. Lull you into a hypnotic stupor and tear out your heart. Jesus, this is creepy, the more I look at it to find better descriptive words, it feels like it’s mouth is turning more from that smirk to a deadly smile. The mouth is opened just enough to mumble it’s chants. Make it stop oH GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!
Just recently I was stricken down with a small fever. A fever that lasted only about 12 hours, but was followed by a raging bout of nausea and headache that would probably kill a lesser man. It was a strange little illness because there was no warning, there was no runny nose or coughing. Nothing. So I thought to myself, was I poisoned with gluten? Somewhere at some point during the week did I get cross contaminated? or was it just a quick virus? I still don’t know.
Then it got me thinking, all about how every person with gluten issues; Celiac sufferers and Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivities, all have different symptoms and reactions when it comes to being hit with the gluten. Within the hour of ingesting gluten I was the shit-bloater (I don’t think that needs description). The long term effects were regular things like fog and depression and headaches and blah blah blah, but since it have been so long (since June 2008) that I had actually been eating gluten on a daily and regular basis, what would my symptoms be now, or have they changed?
The short answer is no. I will still make it rain when I eat gluten. It’s a sad fact, and a pretty awesome description too. But could new symptoms arise because my body has healed itself a little bit in the last six years? That’s what I thought when I was struck with my quick fever. Do I now just get super sick with fever and all?
There was once I ordered a gluten-free pizza and when it came to the door, without worrying or looking, I inhaled half… no three quarters of the pizza before I in fact realized the pizza was a flax infused crust as opposed to a gluten-free one. You have to imagine my terror. This didn’t happen in the first few months or even the first few years of me being diagnosed with Celiac, this happened last year. So I was GF for a long long time. After I realized what had happened I stopped, stunned and the worried. Much like the chapter in the Celiac and the Beast book I went through all the stages: hate, worry, panic, denial, acceptance… I know that’s not the stages but you get the idea. Then, nothing happened. No craps. No nothing. My first thought.. I was cured.
Was I misdiagnosed? Could I eat gluten again?
None of those questions were answered, because I never asked them.
Have I been glutenized recently? Not that I’m aware of. Have my symptoms of being glutened changed? I fucking hope not. That’s like a whole new learning curve. But since I avoid gluten like a terrible medieval themed movie, I guess I might never know (until someone uses my strictly gluten-free peanut butter).
It’s Valentines Day, and what better way to spend than with the person of your dreams. Since I’m married to a beautiful and intelligent woman, my Valentines Day is already filled up. And since Christina Ricci never returned any of my phone calls, you can bet that her and I will never be together anytime soon. It’s just the way that it goes.
Just like at Halloween you might expect bloggers to give you the list of gluten-free chocolates and candies that company’s put out every year. We always focus more on the candy at Halloween time, and the Valentines Day is left in the dust. Well, you would be right if you thought that. I didn’t get a list, and honestly, I didn’t look for one. The only candy that matters at Valentines Day are Hershey’s Kisses. Any way you spell it, any way you cut it, I don’t care who you are, Kisses are where it’s at.
You’ll never guess what though? Those little buggers are gluten-free (but be smart, because you have to know that the cookies and cream one’s aren’t gluten-free).
Reasons upon reasons that you have to send chocolate to a loved one regarding Valentines Day, but if you were so inclined, I love Kisses. When I eat them, I always bite from the point down. It’s just the way I eat them, like putting Bugles on the tips of your fingers and pretending you’re a witch. It’s an exact science of eating food.
When you look at the history of Hershey’s Kisses, you’d think these are a traditional Christmas treat, you’re right, they come in different wrapping colours for that holiday. Red and green, and I think you can get a mint one too. I’m not a fan of mint chocolate so I steer clear of anything like that. The name of the candy is KISSES though, and what do you think of when I say Valentines Day???
Little kids giving out Toy Story Valentines to their schoolmates. Wearing red and pink. Secret admirers leaving you notes in your locker. First date to the movies. Parking your car in a secluded wooded area and KISSING! Kisses. Hershey’s Kisses. See, Kisses are for Valentines Day.
Happy Valentines Day.
If you’re new to being gluten-free, then you’re already in a better place then I was back in 2008 when I was first diagnosed with Celiac. Doctor’s seem to start getting it, stores and food companies are getting in on the whole GF thing so you can easily pick up a gluten-free cereal right off the shelf with no worries. But is the internet keeping up?
Ah, the internet. The ultimate game of true or false. For Celiac sufferers and the gluten intolerant, the internet is a double edged sword.
I was researching this topic and was just kind of batted around the internet, but one blog leapt out at me as not very helpful. Maybe, more like a starting list, but if you suffer from Celiac or are Gluten Intolerant (like the writers do) then this list was poorly put together. Just click HERE to see Our Gluten-Free Reality’s blog. Don’t get me wrong, they have fun recipes and some good blogs at the site, but this ‘new to gluten-free’ list could have been more thought out or filled with more information. If you are new to gluten-free, I wouldn’t recommend this list.
Would you trust that?
At the start of the internet, anything posted on it was taken with a grain of salt. Just because it is on the internet doesn’t make it true. But does that still hold in todays world and how does that relate to being gluten-free? For me It didn’t matter at all. I know what I can and can’t have. I know to call companies if I have questions about gluten content, and of course if the company has a website with accurate information; they’re good. But if you’re just now diagnosed and you have no where to start, all you do is google ‘new to gluten-free’ and POW! Your life is changed forever.
Who do you trust?
If you came to me by looking for ‘new to gluten-free’ I will tell you that I am just a blogger and know shit about shit but I can direct you to good GF food and give you a few examples of what you can eat, but if you’re new to GF I will also tell you that, any of the food I direct you to, has Gluten-Free stamped right on the box/label. You can even check out my Celiac Woes columns to see what I have to say about all the other food. When I was diagnosed, I was handed a piece of photocopied paper from my Doctor with a list of grains to avoid, and I went from there.
SO! Who do you trust?
It’s a loaded question, and I’m always double checking ingredients (like any real Celiacateer) so you really can only trust information you’re given and yourself. It’s just that simple and that impossible. Having Celiac Disease or being gluten intolerant is like a double edged sword.
Here’s a fun treat, this video I made of myself was posted in July 2008. Almost to the week I was diagnosed with Celiac and knew really, nothing about the disease. I’ve learned a lot since then, and you can see just by the foods I talk about. So go and have a look and see how I was naive back then, and still managed to look good.
All you hear about these days is about the Polar Vortex and how this has been the worst winter we’ve all seen and the snow fall is just accumulating to above our heads and blah blah blah. Welcome to Canada. Hell, even when Georgia was hit with a few centimetres of snow, it was armageddon. Ah winter, both the best and worst season.
So what do you do on those icy mornings, cold afternoons and those chilly nights? What do you do to keep warm? Keep your mind out of the gutter, because you can’t just have sexy time ALL DAY, people go to work. I’m talking about hot chocolate. What kinds do you like? What kinds are gluten-free? Do you know what kinds are gluten-free? I’m all about the questions today.
So is all hot chocolate gluten-free? Do we have a definite Celiac Pro? Or a constant Celiac Woe? Tis our burden to wonder these questions with ever food that comes pre-packaged.
Well, I looked into a few hot chocolate brands and really didn’t’ get around to calling any companies, so you’re not going to have to NOT take my complete word for it. Then you look at, my readers are divided between Canada and the US and both countries have staples like Trader Joe’s and Lady o Lakes (is that the name of it Lady o Lakes? I’m just going by memory here) and Nestle and another company. So I’ll just focus on what I know (ish).
What I did find, because I really only would ever drink Two types of instant hot chocolate milk are Nestle’s Carnation hot chocolate, and I was always under the impression that is contained wheat therefore never drank it and what do you know, bingo, it MAY contain wheat. Say’s it right there on the website. Took a picture of it and everything. So, as a dude with Celiac and has to live the 100% gluten-free diet, we already know, that shit is out of the question.
Local and popular Canadian donut peddler Tim Hortons also serves hot chocolate, and luckily they also now provide a handy dandy full allergen information list in PDF format to be found online. Now, I was always… you know what? I’m just going to call them. Hold on… Never mind, they’re closed.
So, Tim Hortons hot chocolate is gluten-free according to the fancy allergen PDF (which you can find by clicking —>HERE<—), but I was always under the impression that their hot chocolate was in fact Carnation brand, which contains wheat. Man, what a confusing time. Here’s the scoop, when in doubt call the company, I tried, no one answered because it’s 8pm.
So just have a coffee. Coffee is gluten-free.