The Cost of Gluten-Free Food

Every grocery store now has it’s own little gluten-free section, usually coupled with the natural or organic foods aisle. Sometimes the GF area is so small you blink and you miss it, then other times, well, huge. I saw a gluten-free aisle end cap at the local pharmacy that was pretty small, and since it was an end cap, you’d totally have to be searching for it to see it. Here’s the thing, if you run a store or an establishment, get in on the gluten-free band wagon, you’ll make mad money.

Now all of a sudden you think I’m promoting the gluten-free food markup agenda, I am. Why not? if 1 in 133 people has Celiac Disease (like me and my Mom), why wouldn’t you try to capitalize on this? It’s good business sense. My disease can only be maintained buy utilizing a strict gluten-free diet so I need my GF food; companies know this about me. The gluten-free marketing gurus also know that close to 22% of the Canadian population is eating gluten-free for non-medical reasons, so why not get in on that?

So why the almost 2.5% markup on gluten-free food?

Celiacs. We need it. Plain and simple. Well, not that simple. It’s also because of those people who choose to eat gluten-free for non-medical reasons. The ones who think it’s a good idea to be like us Celiacateers. Without gluten-free food Celiacs would be lost. Without gluten-free food Celiacs would just be a bunch of people in the fetal position while at work or at the mall. A population 330,000 Canadians just sitting on the can for half the day.

You could make the claim that being a straight up vegetarian could relieve all this gluten-free nonsense, but I want my bacon (smothered in maple).

The expense of living gluten-free is gigantic, and every time you talk to someone about GF food they always bring up how expensive the food is. We have to accept the truth: being gluten-free equals large grocery bills.

Can you find away around the huge prices attached to gluten-free food? Yes. It really is simple, you just need to eat and buy fresh ingredients. Bananas for breakfast as opposed to cereal. Could you get any more simple than that? Maintaing a gluten-free diet doesn’t have to include manufactured food. Those are all just special foods, like potato chips and chocolate covered pretzels (okay, two of my favourites). Late night snacks could easily be cucumbers or a dope ass fruit salad.

It is nice to see that companies that have always been gluten-free in their processes are now starting to label their foods as such, all while not increasing their price, just taking that extra step to joining the GF parade (and that’s good business).

But really, the price of flour, other than bleached white wheat flour, is astronomical. So when you’re baking or cooking with anything else you’d have to expect a huge price jump. Right?

I have Celiac Disease and in order to maintain my health I have to be on a strict 100% gluten-free diet and the food at the supermarket is a must for me (I don’t eat as much fresh food as I should, I dig my morning cereal and hotdogs).

Man I love hot dogs.

I Review Tiger Nuts

Of all the gluten-free food I have reviewed, Tiger Nuts are by far the best named. Here’s the messed up thing, this gluten-free healthy snack isn’t even a nut, its a small tuber. A root vegetable that grows like a potato or a carrot (I wrote this and then realized that’s pretty much what it says on the Tiger Nuts package).

Tiger Nuts asked if I wanted to review their supreme peeled, seriously healthy snack food, and I am never one to turn down that offer, so I jumped at the chance to get my hands on something I’ve never seen before. Especially a gluten-free snack coupled with a list like: lactose free, nut free, natural, and low calorie.

A quaint brown package reminds me of an independent company and the small plastic window reminds me of the small plastic window in an envelop to show your address. Getting mail is supposed to get us all excited, so I am sure when marketing devised the plan to put a small window in their Tiger Nuts bag they though the same thing.

Before I get to taste, lets look at the product.

With only a few in my hands it felt like air. No real weigh to them. So how could this food pack all the nutritional benefits that are claimed to be inside if it’s so light? Eat a healthy homemade granola bar, that shit weighs a quarter tonne and would just stick to your insides. The Tiger Nuts are like drops of snacks air. The look of them remind me of what Sugar Crisp cereal looks like, or maybe what popcorn looks like after you run it under water.

My wife did not like these at all. She ate one. Then none.

Me. Initially I was on the fence about how they tasted. There is this small sweetness to them, its subtle, but it’s there, but yes I did like this little food. They are tough to chew, and if you put a handful in your mouth it’s like attempting to eat wet paper, but the snacks taste good. Tiger Nuts do have some sweetness to them, but still maintain the dull texture and background flavour of a boring ass potato. They’re different than late night snacks, but they’re good tasting. Tiger Nuts are marketed to you as a healthy snack packed with fiber, iron and high levels of vitamin E, it’s supposed to have a dull taste. That’s the curse of healthy food.

Go to the Tiger Nuts webpage HERE and buy a bag and try it. I would recommend this for something different. I’ve never had quite such an original food. A tuber as a snack is interesting. I liked the dull/sweet taste, and I like that they’re marked to me as ‘supreme peeled’ as in, they peeled the outer shell off for me, like that would be a selling point.

Tiger Nuts. My word that’s a pretty awesome name.

How to Deal With Eating Gluten

You have Celiac Disease? I have Celiac Disease. Seems we have a lot in common, so let’s talk about that.

What do you do when you’ve accidentally ingested gluten? Every person who is a diagnosed Celiac or NCGS will have to deal with it no matter what they tell you, and no matter how careful they are. It’s a simple fact that you will have to deal with one of the many symptoms of being glutened or glutenized or whatever you want to call it (I personally like glutenized, sounds a lot like a robot move or something).

So how do you deal with it? What is the best method you’ve ever come up with to get a handle on the agonizing defeat of your own body?

Everywhere I looked the same thing kept coming up: water. Drink plenty of water. Water is the element that brings life, and there is no more important thing that you need. So, when your body starts to fight off the poison that is gluten, you need to drink water. I’m no medical professional, but drinking water is a no-brainer. It helps to keep your shit going and flush all that junk out of you. Yeah, it’s gonna be a bumpy road for the next little bit, but by getting that H2O into you, you should be right as rain… in whatever amount of time it takes. No one said it would be easy.

I feel that with every ailment, someone has a home remedy or old wives tale about how to deal. Ginger, turmeric, valerian root powder all seem like something that could be tossed around the front porch as the old knitting folks talk about Celiac and getting glutenized. Home remedies work as well as your mind thinks they do, lets just call them placebos.

You know what I don’t recommend? Vomiting.

Treat it like you’re dying (in some cases it seems that way), take some gas pills to ease the bloating, drink water and lay in bed. Just chill out, and keep a close eye on the can. Last thing you need is to have to make the 100 yard dash to the toilet and someone is occupying it. Make it known you’re going to be a monster for the next little while and wait it out. Sad fact, but being glutenized is one of the single worst things to happen to a Celiacateer and anyone needing to be free of gluten.

Click this picture to buy this shirt from imaceliac.com

Across the board, there is no right answer. What works for one person might not work for the next. It’s like pizza, not everyone likes pineapple on theirs. Different strokes.

There is always one way to deal with getting the dreaded gluten out of your system, don’t eat gluten. I sound like a jerk by saying it, but it’s mostly a statement aimed at the GF cheaters, because cross contamination is the thorn in the side of all of us.

Getting glutened is a terrible thing and I’ve passed a kidney stone, the single handed worst pain I have felt in my entire life (and I’ve stubbed my toe on a coffee table before) and I would still sometimes take that kidney stone over not being glutened. At least when the stone passed, the pain was over. Getting glutenized… not so much.